scattershot, curly-headed

2010-02-05T13:06:00.000-06:00

Gone To Africa

Please go to www.sqwoshedbanana.blogspot.com to continue to follow my
activities in Dar es Salaam.

Thank You!

~aB

2010-01-28T00:45:00.002-06:00

Drama-lama-ding-dong

First of all, I should say that the appointment went well with Victor's doctor and counselor and we continue to work on more ways we can ensure uninterrupted HOCET oversight of his medication schedule and are working on designating key people to attend his future visits: people who will be informed of his condition and will not only take him to appointments but visit the doctor with him to make sure instructions are communicated to the office. Victor himself was thrilled that we've got the pills right again since he'd been double-dosing and was feeling awful because of it.

However, as soon as he realized he wasn't fatigued anymore he ran around to play football (soccer) with the boys - without shoes - and injured a toe on his foot. I'm sorry, actually he (queasy people beware now), the toe from his second toe on his right foot was completely removed somehow when he scrapped rock/road going for a kick and the skin and flesh under it was badly torn. The boys immediately brought him to me ('cause I've kind of become the doc here) and I, after yelling first for them to leave me to get some work done, brought him into the house (which I guess has kinda become a ward). I sat him down and washed his foot over a bucket to get a look. At first I was about to pluck off the skin thinking he'd merely cracked his toe diagonally down the middle. But when I flipped it up I quickly realized it was skin (and more) and (queasy people, I warned you) I believe I saw the tip of a bone. ...poor little guy, he was really trying to suck it up through all of this. I got him some water, some cookies and put an early Jet Li movie I'd picked up on the street earlier for him to watch on my computer while I cleaned him up as best I could. He sat with me to watch the rest of the movie with his foot up on another chair so it would have time to dry before I wrapped it. I took him back to the house and, within an hour, he was putting all his weight on his bad foot and executing high karate kicks with the other despite my instructions that he absolutely take it easy for at least a couple of days. I honestly don't know what HOCET's can do about him: his spirit is not a flame within him, he is a raging fire. ...a hilarious fire but, still, raging.

Other drama includes some action at the school site where a brand new teacher seems to have gotten out of line - way out of line - with inappropriate talk with a few of our students. The students apparently told some teachers, who told the headmaster but, while he was apparently working things out, the students decided they'd take matters into their own hands and perpetrated a sting. I won't get into it here but suffice it to say that, even were this teacher to have remained (he won't) he'd have had 35 or more boys menacing him at every move. ...and he certainly wouldn't have wanted to join them for the daily football matches.

So now we're also working on how to expedite official action (removal, immediate suspension during investigation) surrounding certain claims as well as, of course, how to ensure that the students realize the school is not the streets from which they come and that The Student Body as Mob 101, isn't a an independent study course.

Our kids come from high-risk circumstances and, even when they become a part of the HOCET family they can continue to be at risk while they are perceived as poor or without guardians. So far, it's history is almost nothing but cause for celebration. As HOCET grows, however, it will have to remain ever mindful that they are still protected - from the arrival of new help and even each other ... and this will be difficult.

In other news: we may have the largest monthly donor pledge begin this month: 500,000/= (about $385) each month for at least a year from a local donor I met at one of the churches visited with the choir. That's what I'm working on now so I'll get back to that.
Remember, you can visit donate, too - monthly even - by visiting http://www.hananasif.org/donate.php!

~aB

Jan 22 10

2010-01-21T14:09:00.001-06:00

Hoping to ask all the right questions:

The boy in the photo below is the youngest at HOCET, He is 9 years old and his name is Victor. Victor is HIV+ and was brought to HOCET by his older brother, currently a student at our Secondary School.

I was informed recently that Victor's CD4 (T-cell) count dropped from 1396 to 821 in 5 months. The average + adult in the U.S., when left untreated, might drop in cells 50-100 in a year and Victors shed almost 6x as many in less than half that time. Certainly the system of care for him - just a matter of ensuring he takes his pill on time twice a day - broke down completely. Since finding out I've been on a tear getting information, talking about it, fuming about it, conferencing about it and trying to ensure this never happens again while acknowledging that, for the last 3 years, the system was working very well, this is actually a small dip in an otherwise elevated level of attention afforded one boy of 100.

...but still, he can't afford slips and so I'm going to the hospital a second time to accompany him on a regular appointment. I have a list of questions for the doctor and hope I have all the right ones and that I take the right notes. It will be the first time an adult will have spoken directly with Victor's doctor (normally his 20 year old brother has made sure to be in town from the school to go with him - something that was disrupted when he broke his leg and had to have it re-broken when it healed incorrectly).

It's late and, since care is first-come - first-served, we've got to leave very early in the morning to get an early number. Victor, by the way, is fine. He wasn't taking his pill regularly and, because he became confused, was taking a double dose each time which, actually, made him feel miserable; he's actually happier now that I've straightened out the meds schedule again.

Next on the list surrounding this issue: How to help the brother connect with someone to explain to Victor why he has to keep taking these meds when no other kid must.

2010-01-17T17:02:00.002-06:00

...It's too late to be up

As of now, the children are back at school (again, their home) and
classes are set to start in about a week. This year we welcome our
first Form IV class, our Form III students having done well last year.
With some students moving up in Forms, HOCET Secondary School also
received new Form I students, including three children from our City
Center (in addition to new children brand new to the HOCET family).
Teachers are preparing their plans and construction continues
full-steam including the new kitchen, multi-purpose room (which will
serve also as the Meals Hall for now) and an additional classroom. The
eldest children are currently helping with construction by painting
and supplying water for cement and even Hezekia and our headmaster are
painting all the new walls.

The weather had cooled just a little, tiny bit as rain made it way
down perhaps once a week in the morning but it seems the respite was to be short-lived as it's been hotter than ever the last couple of days. It was the wind blowing the clouds around that really provided the relief though; as nice as rain is, I'd give anything for the breeze to come back...

This morning I watched Sesame Street in Kiswalhili with the watoto; it was wonderful. Although some segments were obviously dubbed, there really were original skits and original characters. I knew Sesame Street did this but it was something to see here in Tanzania. The kids really were into it; they seemed to know just about every segment, every song. The theme of the show was "Over, Under, Through and Around". I think I only remember "through", "katika". Even some of the older kids couldn't help but smile while watching the program. I didn't snap photos or video of this but it's one of those things I think I'll remember for quite a while. This particular show was brought by the letter B.

That's all for now. I may be leaving for school tomorrow for a few days to work with the founder who's there guiding construction and take some photos of new buildings, new students, etc. It depends somewhat on the outcome of a meeting with a doctor (not for me); I'll fill in a bit about this later.

For now, usiku njema!
~A

2010-01-15T13:41:00.004-06:00

THANK YOU FOR WATCHING

Giving this a try again with just a little update since the big email that went a couple of weeks ago.

Don't expect anyone at all to see this and don't know that I'll check back real soon (again, internet stuff is slow and pricy) but just tinkering for now.

Since my birthday it's been a bit cooler around here. A little more
rain, a little more cloud cover and, though the humidity can still get
pretty thick, the wind is a little more in charge these days rather
than slight and retreating as I first came to know it.

The kids are now back at the school and classes should start in about
a week. Emily is there working with the teachers on their planning and
is actually encouraged so far this time around. Some of the younger
kids have gone to the school so they'll be missed by me and the
others. Still, those who are staying behind at the Center, continuing
Primary School, are - and they don't know it yet - going to benefit
from the addition of some regular volunteers who will be charged with
nothing more but a program of giving them structured attention. Books
will be read and drawings drawn. Chores will be done together in a
thoughtful way to encourage better behavior toward, well, upkeep.

I'm having a bit of a hard time - not that don't ever Not have a hard
time - with getting back to work. Though I'm keeping busy, I find I
just keep adding things to my To Do list (things, usually, that I've
just done) instead of ticking things off. Ah well. Meetings with the
other volunteer will begin this afternoon so I figure the time to get
it in gear is nigh. ;o)

2009-06-23T16:50:00.001-05:00

Playlist To Get Through The Day (Morning) 6/23/09

Radio Radio - Elvis Costello
Title Track - Okkervil River
Underwater (You & Me) - CYHSY
Bands with Managers - David Bazan
Cruncher - The Jay Jays
Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before - The Smiths
15 Minutes - The Strokes
Flordinese - Fire on Fire
Blow - Fists Up
Scorch - Macromantics
Kissing the Lipless - The Shins
Blue - Elastica
Never as Tired as When I'm Waking Up - LCD Soundsystem
He's Kissing Christian - That Dog
Like a Child - Junior Boys
Dark State of Mind - Tuatara
Dancing Mountains - M83
Put on a Side - Breeders
Sunrise - Petra Hayden (The Who)
Off You - Breeders
Without You - Bear Creek
Everybody Be Happy - The Kinks
Holland 1945 - Neutral Milk Hotel
Boy with the Arab Strap - Belle & Sebastian
Dry the Rain - Bees

Lunch

Announcement

2009-06-08T02:10:00.000-05:00

	A lifetime in one year...

	Friends, Throughout the years you've managed to keep up with my travels, visits and moves but seldom with direct notice from me. Well, I am challenging myself again and in a way which I feel will entirely alter the course of my life - and I want to share my plans with each of you before I go. The Logistics: At the beginning of August I leave Los Angeles for Dallas, Texas to do some person-to-person fundraising and then, at the end of that month I will leave for Dar es Salam, Tanzania departing from NYC and connecting in London. The Why: I am being sent to East Africa by Kujali Int'l, a U.S.-based organization that is building itself and its model for help orphanages throughout the developing world provide vulnerable youth with the tools to become healthy, knowledgeable, and dynamic leaders for change in their communities. This vision and the inspiration for Kujali, however, was born from the work of the Hananasif Orphanage and Academy and its founder, Hezekia Mwalugaja. For a period of 8 months (to a year) I will be part of a team of three working with the founder, the school and the community to bring stability to Hananasif and establish its footing toward the first steps of self-sustainability. My part will to directly explore challenges and opportunities that exist in the path toward self-sustainability for Hananasif. By prioritizing and strengthening the relationships and resources available locally in Dar es Salam and nationally in Tanzania I hope to leave Hezekia in a stronger position to grow his dream of producing new leaders for his country with the help of his fellow countrymen and women rather than from abroad. Although I believe my past work and travel experience will help me to do this, it is what I do not yet know - what I am not yet sure I can do - which is driving me to make this commitment. I would love to follow-up with each of in the coming two months over the phone, online or in person to talk about this project and hear your questions and suggestions. Beginning today I will begin raising funds support my work. My goal is $10,000 and you can help with pledges, donations and, even better, passing word around to everyone you know! (Think about it, 20 people who know 5 people willing to donate $100 does it!) You can find links to make donations in either one of the sites linked below. My gratitude goes to each of you as you pray about supporting me and this work. I encourage you to explore the links below! Click here to learn more about Hananasif : http://hananasif.org/ Click here to read more about my project and Kujali Int'l: http://www.kujali.org With love, ~Alberto Brian

test test

2009-06-04T09:48:00.001-05:00

Some messages that go out to many may get posted directly to the blog this way.

...hopefully not too many though; I'd like the blog to remain for those who followed me in the past and, therefore, more personal.

2009-06-03T23:13:00.000-05:00

working on some changes here ...

Will be back, believe it or not, shortly.

Check these sites out, in the meantime:

http://www.kujali.org/blog/

http://hananasif.org/

2008-12-19T03:24:00.003-06:00

yawn. burp. scratch

So much to do. So overworked. My body hurts a bit. It got cold here recently; about time. Looking forward to more cold in TX but liked the cold in NYC recently. Hear it's a mess in Chicago. Cold's good. It should be cold when the days get shorter; helps stave off the feeling you're being cheated of time. When it's cold you can be thankful when darkness comes with it's mandate for more sleep. Thankful the days seem to be ticking off ticktickticktOck. 'cause when it's still nice out and you're trying to race out of work to take advantage of it but then the day's done and you feel like you're a slacker on fun and you don't know why you're so tired straight away after work 'cause, really, it's been such a lovely day but, aw, forget it, couch it for the night and read a book.l

So, yeah, chilly.

Found this tonight after an event I organized.

From a sheet of stationary by the public telephones in a very nice hotel:

because Love Himself is
near
You are here

you may find him
as sweet as the
nectar of life

as sweet as
it is
finding you

here.

...I thought that was pretty nice. I took it and, on the sheet below it, wrote my own little love poem. But I'm keeping that one to myself; let someone else blog about it.

Good night.
xoox

2008-11-06T01:36:00.003-06:00

Victory '08 brings with it victory for H8

...not a headline I expected to write on the eve after the election of President-elect Barack Obama; a man I threw my support behind a year ago and for whom I have volunteered time to ensure this win. The last several weeks however (or was it only 2?) I switched gears after realizing that I was following the crowd to do things for him campaign and forgetting my issues at home. I started working with a local Dems office to defeat propositions 4 and 8. Closest to my heart was killing 8. Last night we were able to hear the election called for our man and even hear him speak before numbers emerged on our state's issues.

I was at a club with volunteers I'd worked with on and off for a year to support Obama... they hadn't seen much of me recently though because all my work had shifted to defeating props 8 and 4. I visited about 300 doors from Northeast L.A. to the heart of East L.A. I made phone calls. I hung door signs. I walked in the heat and in the rain. I spoke for over 30 minutes to an 84-year old retired pastor who wasn't even on my list but had a Yes on 8 sign in his yard. I didn't win him over but I got him to consider my points. I saw him absorb and accept the notion of "pro-choice" vs the only term he'd ever adopted, "against pro-life". He invited me back and I intend to go back and see him again soon. I believe he may come around to see that there is no reconciling what God demands and bigotry; that discipleship cannot follow exclusion. I spoke with others in my fractured Spanish and got a friend to walk with me on one day, a gay man weary of revealing himself too openly in public... I changed the mind of a young voter at work who didn't just agree with me 'cause I out-talked him but wanted to understand and, after our time together, understood.

When the election was called for Obama we screamed. I screamed a lot. We hugged each other. I bounced. We cried. We laughed. I shared my contraband wine with someone in the crowd.

Outside all the passing cars were honking. A bus drove by and most of the passengers were gathered at the front of the bus; the bus driver blared his horn as he passed. A group of people skipped by banging on pots and pans from their kitchen. A family made up of what appeared to be a mother and 5 kids appeared at a hall-window in the old apartment building across the street and all of us gathered on the sidewalk waved hello to them and they waved back.

Back inside, we watched McCain's concession. Then Obama's speech. In a darkened club we all stood, facing the same direction, and listened to our President-elect address us for the first time and we roared. The girls get a puppy, we cheered. young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight - we flipped our Sh*t. We cried some more. We applauded and pumped our fists in the air. It was a good night full of all the excitement befitting the occasion.

Following the speech the djs began their set, "Sweet Home Alabama" -erhm, sorry, couldn't resist. I don't remember what song it was - Stevie Wonder, I think. We hugged again. We danced, laughter bursting from our lips.

CNN still streamed as the music pumped through the crowd and a handful of us were still keeping an eye on the screen.
And then the first numbers for Prop 8 came out. We stopped.

Immediately.
Completely.

After a while we looked at each other and reassured each other that it was still early - too early. Only 22% of the precincts reporting at that time; surely trailing early was due to lots of small-community CA was coming in first. Obama had won; we still had our own local-issues votes to count. Don't Worry; Be Happy.

When Emily and I left that night a gay couple in line, seeing our No on Prop 8 buttons, cheerily informed us that San Francisco, L.A., Marin - those votes hadn't even been counted yet; surely everything would be straightened out when our larger counties were counted. We enthusiastically agreed. I said we'd all worked too hard for this a thing like this - a constitutional amendment for the first time in California that discriminates against a minority. No way. Not here. Not like this.

I woke this morning at 4am unable to sleep from worry about 8 passing. I broke down at 6am and checked CNN. 92% of precincts reporting and Prop 8 leading. Emily and I talked a bit. Tried the reassurance thing again (there were still 2 mil votes to count, after all). We talked a bit about strategy: what did the No on 8 group do wrong; what might have synched it? Did the increase of black voters really do us in as had been feared? Really; in this election?!

I tried to think, humbly, that there was simply still work to do. ...and then my mind, while I tried to shut out the worry, started to float The Beach Boys from still waters deep in the recesses. One song has been linked in me to the struggle for equal rights for same-sex couples for about 15 years now, Wouldn't It Be Nice: a song about the eager yearning to love each other freely, for the right to marry and to finally be in "the kind of world where we belong". I tried to shut this song out, too, but my stomach tightened from the work and I felt sick. So I let it play in my head, a bit at a time. And I shared it with Emily and uttered a line here, a line there. Each line feels poignant, all on its own. And then I finally cried.

I can't tell you exactly why I cried then; why I've cried off and on throughout the day. I am resoundingly heterosexual and have no gay family members that I'm aware of... I have, and have always had, a fair number of gay friends (it just somehow works out that way). Some are in long-standing relationships and there has generally been a great variety in age -- but none of the issues directly facing the gay community are my issues at this time. I don't deal with them from day to day. My work does not involve this struggle. And yet, I have been filled with a passion for LGBT rights since I was a child in elementary school and didn't even understand what I was feeling (which is entirely another story). I have not done much aside from empathize before but the struggle hooked me early on.

President-elect Obama (I just like typing that out) said this last night:
... the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.

Though democracy can't be said to have played out for a minority group in California yesterday, I have unyielding hope that liberty and opportunity can be won for this group so that all of us are safe, respected and empowered.
This great loss - and others like it across the country - juxtaposed against this momentous win is merely the resounding call to take nothing for granted and to keep all hands on deck; there's a lot more work to do beginning now and it won't be someone else who does it. On this issue, this issue of discrimination, of exclusion, of intolerance: it never lasts and hate never wins - inclusion is inevitable and love conquers all. I have to believe that. On the other issues we are facing and new issues we will face in the next 8 years, it will be by our efforts in our daily lives that will reinforce our efforts leading up to the polls and, in this way, we can all live in "the kind of world where we (*all) belong".

Celebrate this win but take the responsibility we all have now seriously. Stay informed, stay involved, never back down and help those who haven't come around yet to cross over. Don't buy the fear and don't trade in hate - we must be better.

.

2008-09-18T00:37:00.003-05:00

Two Things:

Q (to Maya Angelou): How do you fit writing into your life?
Writing is a part of my life; cooking is a part of my life. Making love is a part of my life; walking down the street is part of it. Writing demands more time, but it takes from all of these other activities. They all feed into the writing. I think it's dangerous to concern onself too damned much with "being an artist." It's more important to get the work done. You don't have to concern youself with it, just get it done. The pondering pose - the back of the hand glued against the forehead - is baloney. People spend more time posing than getting the work done. The work is all there is. And when it's done, then you can laugh, have a pot of beans, stroke some child's head, or skip down the street.

and this one from a new friend:

I always worked until I had something done and I always stopped when I knew what was going to happen next. That way I could be sure of going on the next day. But sometimes when I was starting a new story and I could not get it going, I would sit in front of the fire and squeeze the peel of the little oranges into the edge of the flame and watch the sputter of blue that they made. I would stand and look out over Paris and think, "Do not worry. You have always written before and you will write now. All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know." So finally I would write one true sentence, and then go from there. It was easy then because there was always one true sentence that I knew or had seen or had heard someone say. If I started to write elaborately, or like someone introducing or presenting something, I found that I could cut that scrollwork or ornament out and throw it away and start with the first true simple declaration sentence I has written.

-Ernest Hemmingway in "A Moveable Feast"

Sorry to be away but, really, I've been pretty active again. So active I'm finally worn out again. I've been worn out again and again. I want to deliver more but have been prioritizing differently lately, I guess. R asked about new things and most she's heard about now:
-Bought a motorcycle and put it in the hands of someone who's very, very, very slow and kinda infuriating.
-Am dating a girl who seems very promising - just have to see if I am yet.
-Attended the weddings of family and friends and was thrilled with both of them: the best of times, the worst of times; really.
-Am considering a move out of the country. ...off the continent really. Considering a move in that way that moves happen - to take place and take hold for a long period of time. I'll be incorporating skills I've developed and applying them to, perhaps, something I believe in. So, that's to say that I'm not just thinking of running away and blowing caution to the wind to see where another road takes me: I'm throwing caution to the wind and taking a new road but on a familiar bike. ...we'll see.
-I've been corresponding with a new friend who's got me writing again. Which is nice.
-I'm still very excitable

Happy doing, everyone.
~A

2008-07-22T00:11:00.002-05:00

NASA acknowledges Matt Harding.

This only gets better with each viewing. I confess I love it.

Really tired these days. Lots going on. Life is good.
.

2008-07-18T00:52:00.004-05:00

Let's All Make Lists

Names I've changed on my gchat list: (or, rather, what they've been changed to) (a sampling)

The General
The Shocker
The Kid
Muffin
Djarrt

Things I'll be doing the next several days:
Karaoke
Wedding Reception
Glow in Santa Monica
Hosting Brunch

In 8 days I'll be:
on a train
on a train
delayed on a train
on a train
in Sante Fe
...almost
a little more train
in Santa Fe

Things I'll be seeing in the next 3 weeks:
Dublab presents VisionVersion
Harakari ...followed by the gore comedy
Bug
Amanda Palmer (1/2 of Dresden Dolls)
The Walkmen

Reasons for that last show:
Almost entirely because the line in the The Rat, "When I used to go out I knew everyone I saw / Now I go out alone, if I go out at all)

How many places I can post updates about ...well, about "how I'm feeling" or what I see:
1. Myspace
2. Facebook
3. Gmail Chat
4. Twitter

Number of those which generally match up or agree:
0

What I'm drinking these days:
Pino Grigiot
Deep Cabs
Spicy Pinot Noirs
Guinness
Bushmills
Guinness

What I'll be serving at brunch:
Mimosas
Bangers and Mash
Spanish Omelette with Sardines
Chorizo and Egg Tacos
A mixed baby-green salad with raspberry vinaigrette - just to pretty up the table

Number of people attending said brunch:
...I really don't know. 10? 12?

Number of people I expect to respond and/or send this to all of their friends:
0

Number of wishes they'll be missing out on:
A gazillion
.

2008-07-17T00:37:00.005-05:00

Hey Youuu Guyyyyysss!

I just discovered this, having never seen it myself before, tonight. ...enjoy.

(actual intro for which the above plays into that I used to dig as a kid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFYMijdQ_sA&feature=related)

and for those of you for whom the above means nothing, references nothing: here's something else that might, for Rita, for Animal, for Fever, whatever, mean a little more:

and, hell, why not - ...no, I'd better not.

.

2008-07-13T13:57:00.002-05:00

A couple more items to pass the time with as your Sunday winds down:

Naked Naked Naked - enjoy.

Violence and Gore - knock yourself out.

.

2008-07-07T03:21:00.002-05:00

If you find yourself down
and no one's around
to pick you up out of our rut
you know what what you've got to do

don't run around looking for strangers but
reach out in print to the one made for you
and you'll find what you needed found
and settle yourself back to solid ground

...and if you don't believe this lie is true
ask the blind man
he saw it, too!

Nothing to report this night. Lot's of cleaning and sorting this weekend. It felt as good as it was exhausting - and schedule disrupting. ...which was fun. but I tell you, these late nights on KCRW are terrific since the new slew of of (4) djs.
move along now.
nothing to see here
.

2008-07-02T02:17:00.005-05:00

Heard this song a bit on KCRW and really dug it only never knew the who. So tonight I noticed a link to a video of theirs and dug it enough to check out another and then another 'til I stumbled upon this unofficial video on youtube.

The band is MGMT
The video creator is someone else entirely (jsalmon).

It scores on my screen 'cause of 1. the cute girl and 2. the dancing weather man.

check it.

and enjoy.
.

2008-06-27T00:15:00.003-05:00

I've shared a two articles that speak to this and paint what I believe but this is just a rant I couldn't fit into a comment; it starts with the bit from an article that begins with where many other articles stop:

For starters, the most positive aspect of the bill is that it make clear that FISA and the criminal wiretap laws are the exclusive means by which electronic surveillance may be conducted. It's true that the old FISA bill says the same thing, and in any case it wouldn't surprise me if Bush issued a signing statement saying he disagrees with this section, but still, at least it's something. link

The original bill said the same thing about "exclusive means" that the new one does but, with all the other "negative aspects" of the bill (I don't know why he doesn't just say "abuses" firsts but holds that word for the next line.) we're supposed to celebrate? Moreover, we're not supposed to protest? We're supposed to breathe in the gas and not smell capitulation? We're not supposed to recognize the dotted line running down the middle of the Democratic Party that again reads, "fold here"?

Kevin here is right - it's not going to get the attention but the rest of us are paying attention. The rest of us who support Obama and his stand for Change. I have to say that, though I understand his handlers, such as they are, are going to say to stay clear of anything that looks like he's Against protecting this country - but if he can't find a way to do it right; if he can't whether that with all the money we're giving his campaign to distract, cover up or explain his way out of it then it does not bode well for Change.

I am a strong believer in Obama and what he wants to do but I am not hot on the Dems and I really, really, need to see that he can lead a charge, that he can take over the reigns on some of these issues. ...and if they're not willing to follow his lead then all of us have a much, much more bleak future to look forward to... :o(
(*Note: Hilary has done, nor seemed poised to do, anything different from the rest of them on this topic.)

2008-06-24T04:00:00.004-05:00

gotta post it

So I spied this today - 'cause again I'm not sleeping:
watch this
and I have to admit, first of all, I looked deeper into who this person was 'cause she's pretty darn attractive. ...but, sue me, I don't watch network television and, by the sound of her, she wouldn't blame me.

Anyway, before the clip is removed by Viacom (foreign owned, so who are they really looking out for...?) - check out the clip referenced in the article above. here

...it's too late and I've been to another so-so show - on a monday - for a friend - or friends, not that I could tell - ugh, L.A. is a stupid place - but moving on - I'm ...
pretty...
damn...
tired.

.
Bonus: here - she calls out butthead O'Reily. or, I'm sorry, "Bill".

2008-06-18T02:11:00.003-05:00

A Simple Proposition:

So, quick story - I traded in my new 17" HP Dv9700t for a refurb'd 15" mbp and got it just today. Life is good.

...until I plug in my phone so pull some video clips and post them to YouTube. I can pair the devices with Bluetooth and transfer files at a rate of about a minute a file but when I try and sync them via USB I can't get anywhere at all.

So, here's the deal: I've searched and searched and can't find anything. I'm searching wrong somehow 'cause I know this can't be it - I know there's a ix somewhere.

- Figure out how I can get this phone to play nice with OSX 10.5.3
Do this - figure it out or find the answer that works and I'll send you $40 bucks immediately.

I refuse to believe that this can't work and, difficult as it is for me to admit, I seem to be stuck here.

Thanks and thanks again. More fun coming soon. (as Dave, Rebekah and I can already attest to...)
.

2008-06-07T14:31:00.003-05:00

I don't think people are carrying around the little cards I like to promote so I'm posting this today:

enjoy responsibly.
.

2008-06-06T00:04:00.002-05:00

Leap Frog

I know you may not care but I'm kinda fascinated by this:

Gas yesterday = $4.27

Gas today = $4.39

no riots. no public speeches.
but, trucks and suvs are being dropped entirely and electric is coming that much faster. We wanted people to wake up; they're waking up now.
.

2008-06-04T01:59:00.002-05:00

Follow up

I suggested that gas would be up by 2 cents following my post this past Monday, the 2nd.

Well, I confess I was wrong. The gas did not rise the following day. And today it did not rise 2 cents.

No. Today gas on my corner jumped from $4.17 a gallon up 6 cents to $4.23 a gallon for regular unleaded. I don't even know how much it's jumped on the west side.

Just wanted to clear that up. Thank you.

I'm going to go and throw up now.
.

2008-06-02T09:49:00.003-05:00

What's Going On

A couple of things about what's up in L.A. these days:

The price for regular gas has hit $4.75 a gallon out here. (That's on the West side. the gas station down the street from me had it at $4.17 last night; I'm sure it'll be 2 cents higher today - it's been doing that every 2-3 days.)

Housing is sufficiently bad out here that a builder is giving homes away.

California is generally seen as picking up on things last or slowly. With the housing bubble we can proudly state that we hit on that earlier and accomplished the biggest bubble across the nation. More people here were what we in my neighborhood call pendejo than any others in the country.

Lastly, and this one is fun: Check out your local real estate market with Trulia Snapshot. Just go to the top of the page and change the city after "Homes For Sale In:" (Link takes you to L.A. with most expensive listed. Check out "least expensive" and scroll over to homes to check out what's "cheap" out here.)

time for work.
.

2008-05-30T00:09:00.001-05:00

A bit much

but certainly worth a look:

enjoy.

...er, or, kinda.

2008-05-24T11:59:00.002-05:00

Recently

Hello there faithful reader, how've you been? Me? oh, well I have been growing and shrinking, trying and doing.

I've met some pretty incredible people recently who, as I've discovered only in passing, have figured out this life thing and I discovered, upon reflection, that I was missing these people before due to the distracting nature of what I call Bright Shiny Things. Cool toys or cars or jobs or breasts or smiles or computers or wit or drinks or flirt or music or dreams or travel plans or travel pasts or money schemes or get-rich scams... any and all of these things were what I was seeing when people were kinda secondary. Hell, I was secondary.

Anyway, I'm working on becoming primary and I'm seeing people a little better. My patience for many is shot but my eyes for the few are locked. Those for whom life is good no matter the mud and blood are coming out of the woodwork and Hallelujah it's what I had too few of in the city. I've been blessed with ...oh a handful of these people and appreciated each one (if not enough) but now that I'm working on me these new people are helping me see the next step before me. I don't mean to say I'm making lots of new friends 'cause it's not about that: most of these people I'm never going to see again.

This is turning into a nonsense ramble but I wanted get something up on the page again. I'm typing this post from bed on my new, big, heavy, beautiful laptop - which arrived with a dented front edge and hairline crack just above the webcam. I'm taking advantage of playing with it before I take it in for replacement today.

I recommend you all check out Tom Petty's new band, Mudcrutch (mudcrutchmusic.com). I also recommend that you check this out: http://www.themorningnews.org/archives/awards/2008_editors_awards_for_online_excellence.php
if for no other reason than the very last entry in the list on Zappos.

Oh, and go watch Iron Man. If nothing else it'll have you saying I heart RDJ, again.
.

2008-04-14T00:00:00.000-05:00

Season of lists:

So, here I am at the wii again, choosing each letter via pointer to compose a message I haven't yet thought through.
I've ... been distracted and -- let's...
this latest attempt was foiled by a cat in a tree. ....no worries, yours truly with a laser pointer totally took the situation - and cat - in hand.

I'll just tell you this now: Today, at my local delegate election [for Obama], the democratic contest came down to a coin toss between a man who was part of the campaign over a year before there even was an organized campaign and a man who hasn't been a formal part of this local campaign at all. The guy isn't from out of no where for this community and he - most importantly - showed up early and hustled himself some additional support.
...kind of an Obama feel to his coming up though. Hilary might have believed she had this locked up from the beginning when out comes this guy "from out of nowhere" who rallies together big time support and threatens to take over all the way.
Our guy has worked So hard and has some regocnition [maybe not exactly in the heart of my district perhaps but he got the Shperherd Fairey Obama posters and stickers up everywhere out here - which he showed up and distributed.] and the support of the field team and distrct campaign. But he got there late and then was didn't get a chance to connect with those who had not yet decided... and so the vote came down to a tie and coin toss.
...I wanna believe the winner will vote as he should anyway and that's the bottom line and there is, of course, still a lot more work to do. I'd like to believe that our field team will absorb our new delegate into the fold and get an injection of fresh blood - I know those guys have been working doggedly. But if that can happen then our representation from my district can be even stronger than we'd anticipated.

tired now, busier weeks than ever behind me and busier still ahead.

2008-02-17T01:42:00.001-06:00

totally.

sweet.

.

2008-02-14T11:05:00.000-06:00

www.zefrank.com/
valentine/ ...that's all I
got today.

2008-01-31T00:29:00.000-06:00

You can't, once it's
done, (or, when it's only
just done) reminisce
together. Me course,
that's what i'd most
like: is to go through the
pages and sigh and
wince and celebrate
perhaps the few
beautiful passages. But
you never liked
nostalgia or anything
tinged with sadness.
And, of course, I find
comfort in it when the
present is
uncomfortable... So,
here I am and it's okay
to be alone with there
thoughts, even if it
means missing you.
...'cause I wish you well,
too, and I can believe
it's true.

2008-01-25T19:42:00.000-06:00

No internet from good
yet, i'm typing this on
my phone. All new of
the new year is from
scratch now. ...the cost
of the ingredients
means I'd better make
some thing really good.
Here's to 2008, my the
universe give us all
what we've got coming.

2007-11-13T09:33:00.000-06:00

Long Read of the Week

The Economic Consequences of Mr. Bush

Next:

Talking Heads in Print; You Say "Genocide" I say, "Tragedy"

Last:

Short Video: DNA Origami
.

2007-11-09T09:56:00.000-06:00

While I'm Out Looking At The Fall Colors

- you can catch up with something I've been enjoying very much:

Layer Tennis:
Two artists (or two small teams of artists) will swap a file back and forth in real-time, adding to and embellishing the work. Each artist gets fifteen minutes to complete a “volley” and then we post that to the site. A third participant, a writer, provides play-by-play commentary on the action, as it happens. The matches go for ten volleys and when it’s complete a winner is announced.(Previously seen, kinda, between that Amy girl, her friend and, I think once, me.)
Check it out here.

(*Fans of Dooce can skip to her involvement here. ...though they're all pretty darn great.)
.

2007-11-05T02:32:00.000-06:00

Where I live

It's really just about the first minute that I'm most interested in...

NPR : Carter Builds Affordable Homes in Los Angeles
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=15876253&sc=emaf

2007-10-24T10:23:00.000-05:00

Recently (quickly, more on each sometime later):

I've been visited by friends from out of town

I've been camping - finally

I've tried acupuncture

and, to my immense delight, The Happy Bullets have finally launched their video.

I slept well last night (finally) but I'm late for work again. Life ain't so bad; hope you'll agree.

2007-10-10T02:57:00.001-05:00

first take (and 2nd) on In Rainbows *Radiohead*

15 Step
...approaching a minute: is this Norah Jones?

"has the cat got your tongue?" oh my. "etc., etc." "then a sheer drop"
a little Kid A-y now in this first listen... I'm sure I won't hear this later though.
(2nd listen: I don't hear it anymore)

no bleed into the next song - 3 seconds

Bodysnatchers - chunky
"I've no idea what you're talkin about / I'm stuck in this body and can't get out"
...better at 2:30 Is the Edge making a cameo?
(2nd listen: I like this much better now.)

but this one does...
Nude - there is A Lot of base on this album. You could kill the bass for the rest of the album and there'd be a lot of bass on this record.
...just kidding.
...almost.
This sounds most "radiohead" now. Either because I'm accessing more memory or 'cause it just is somehow. Drums kinda jazzy.
(2nd listen: It's alright, man. but I'm getting sleepy so what do I know anymore?)

bleeds right into Weird Fishes and now we're back in Radiohead terrority
(***Funny, I didn't say anything about this one either time.*** see 2nd listen for next song.)

All I Need - "I'm an animal trapped in your hot car"
...oh, but this is pretty.
(2nd listen: these two songs really are one song - the first moment you really lose yourself in the record)

Faust Arp - sounds little 1976
Folk Orchestrementalism
"Deafing(?) in a cup, I'm stuffed, stuffed, stuffed / We thought you had it in you but no, no, no, no"
(2nd listen: "I love you but enough is enough")

and then we slip and down into a manhole with a tinny echo of crashing coins on the wet cemet floor
...but the persistent base and three string guitar that is Reckoner
-keys now. A little Moby-captured-soulism, stolen memories of train rides , etc.
(2nd listen: It's too bad this song doesn't butt right up against Faust Arp)

Of course, so far it's still easy to imagine Thom doing his shuddering shuffle at the mic

oops, weird crop of this song with a quick fade out ... and a full second before the next plucked chord pick-up.
House of Cards - man, Pitchfork is gonna slay this thing. Those fKrs.
"I don't wanna be your friend, I just wanna be your lover"
enough said. ...I think.
(2nd listen: Still not feeling this one. ...but I'm really, really tired now)

Jigsaw Falling Into Place
Man is there A LOT of base in this. You're going to want to upgrade your amp and rear speakers just to do the base justice if you plan on playing this in your car at all.
I think someone is drunk in this song. Thom's singing to him/her. S/he's dancing and someone has "a Cheshire cat grin" ...
(2nd listen: This will probably get some prominent play but might not get through to people on it's own. What the hell do I know?)

Videotape - ...look for this on YouTube as the soundtrack for many a new short or just the piano part for one of those 1-pic-taken-each-day-for-48-years things. This is what will get play on KCRW and make people pull over and cry in their cars in North Hollywood.
"This is one way I'm sayin' goodbye / Cause I can't do this face to face and / Talkin' to you for - No matter what happens now, you shouldn't be afraid..."

and then - holy crap! - and that's how it ends. That's it.
(2nd listen: ...too tired. going to bed.)

It may just be a ploy to sell more diskbox sets but I don't know what those 8 extra tracks sound like.
Wow, it's a pretty small, dark place this album lays you down in.

...if you have the album on repeat you are, I'll admit, lifted straight up as if by your shirt lapels or, hell, a cute girl you never thought even noticed you when sat against the wall of the gymnasium at the school dances - it actually makes the first track that much better to hear it again immediately after listening to the whole record/last song.

**So there you have it. I listened to the album twice while working on other things (email) and typed these notes here for you and you and you and yours.
You can order the album yourself and offer to pay what you like - or nothing at all - here.

Be good.

2007-09-25T00:06:00.000-05:00

You will not find a better deal

1. My roommate has just offered me low, low rates for gym membership and I'm all over it.
2. My roommate and gf offered me and mine tickets to this show. and we went. and it was terrific.
3. My roommate just walked in and related the following:

This guy was just walking down the middle of the street, talking on his cell phone, and he was hilarious. He was talking really loudly like, "Naw man, that blind date you sent me on was really awful, I don't even wanna talk about it. Naw man, it was just horrible, I mean, she was, it was, man, Samantha was way better than what you set me up with!"

etc.
.

2007-09-21T03:19:00.000-05:00

a wave expands reach
while diminishing hours
steal the unprepared

(so tired. time for bed.)

2007-09-07T00:50:00.000-05:00

Old Notes

Purge #1

I want nothing at the end of the poem, not even a place to rest my head.

I want no hint of where my head has gone at the end of the poem.

.

2007-09-06T02:16:00.000-05:00

Tell Me Something Good

I've got to admit, the title is only a line from a song I've got stuck in my head. It's a very good song.

and while I'm making confessions, I must admit I published a response at another blog too quickly. I suggested that living Karmicly meant that people sometimes let things alone instead of interfering for the sake of observing Karma. It turns out that it may be more correct that, for those who believe this, we are living in karma and we, rather, make our own karma. I was right (it seems) when I suggested elsewhere that the notion intention has something to do with it; it seems it is our intention that makes for karma. If one were to, say, return a found item to a lost-and-found station with the intention that it be reunited with its owner then, whether or not it's realistic or efficient or whatever, it is good karma for that person as s/he has done something in accordance with Good Intention. (Which, perhaps, begs the question about whether the insane who can be generally cruel or kill others because they believe it's for the best are still afforded good karma. That is, must good intention also be in accordance with what society deems is good or which is good for others or the environment?)

Anyway, what I did earlier springs directly from the fact that I don't much care for preparation. That is, I try here and there and am sometimes successful; it is a meaningful thing for me but, inherently? it's not built in. Sometimes that works out fine - more and more often, not so much.

So... what's the point of this post? Well, nothing really. I mean, it's an update that I thought might lead to story or ...report on how I've been but, actually, it's late and I'm going to bed. I just thought I'd say, "hello".

hello.
.

2007-08-28T10:18:00.000-05:00

Not Quite

Mr. President, that Gonzales should finally act upon the suggestion of your own team to get out before becoming even more of a burden is prudent - even to your own cause. It's sad that we all had to endure the spectacle of his drowning under his own arrogance and misguided loyalty to you. (Actually, it is sad that he seems to have absolutely failed in ever making that transition away from being "your lawyer" to that which he should have been...)

I'll say one thing that's sad though: while we await this Sept. report on Iraq, there will be almost no mention that entire month about our promise to Afghanistan - a place that could use the full force of our help and could do better things with it. The fact that we can still read editorials today reminding us of our promise to Afghanistan that read the same as what we might have 5 years ago is sad, Mr. President. And that you are more emotional at losing the last of your old guard (fraternity) than you have been more animated in your stubbornness than in your efforts to become a better leader is more than sad - it is lame, as you have become.
.

2007-08-21T02:45:00.000-05:00

A little bit about the way work's been lately:

Only more sweat and grimacing...

2007-08-12T23:43:00.000-05:00

"Don't do it that way. You'll never make a dime."

--- let it load ---
...even though, the line above is missing from this video 'cause the song's been cut because of people like you who won't watch videos at home when they're posted for your enjoyment and, there you have it, the terrorists have won. (but you can catch the tune at seeqpod.com and it's worth the listen)

So I'm here, right?, and I'm kinda working on some things for the office when, really, I intended to get a lot more done this weekend - and that's not even counting all the laundry and filing and the thinking and the listing that I intended to do. seriously.

...and even before I begin this, I'm distracted.
and back again.

I gotta say, for the little bit that I do online and on the phone and in a plane to get to the places I once called home I have learned, and am reminded again each time I try, that I have some of the very best friends a man could hope for and for that I'm grateful. ...even if they'd never guess it. so, yeah, thanks.

Things I'm doing:
swimming
hiking
loving
feeling big around the middle
"meaning to"
consoling
ex-am-in-ing
listening (trying to)
missing
drinking (not so much anymore)
slacking (not so much anymore)
worrying (a little more - a lot more - than I used to...)

Things I'm not doing:
planning
moving
gettin' rich quick
eating late at night
watching my mouth
attending church
eating the 5lb burrito for a free 5lb burrito (or any other reason)
sending mail to those I mean to send to mail to...
livin' la vida loca
puttin' up with no jive
hitting the song any closer to key than any one else with talent could...
having it all figured out
practicing what I preach
writing (at all)
sending (a thing)
getting to sleep on time

Things I will never confess to having been doing:
drinking from the bottle
throwing knives
hitting off target
fleeing any scene which may or may not have involved a bleeding person
(near misser)
reminiscing about having been in Jamaica
wearing trousers that could only be called "trousers" with my
...um
bigger than normal middle pudging over it

...that's all for now. listen to 5 leaves and Nick Drake.
or, hell. Just listen to him.
~

2007-08-01T01:30:00.000-05:00

and once it was the grand canyon with the creek and the Coloraduh and those damn rocks that I just sat (in the creek) and dug for quite a long while until I was no longer concerned at all or whatsoever and I took some rocks with me and I have some in the car and some at my desk and some in my room and I hold them now and again and damn if I'm not giddy and peaceful at the same time when I do it... and so then it was here with work and here with work and working here on this and that and the house and the work and the reading and the learning and the studying and the work and everything has quite absolutely come to a stopping point, that is, on this point everything has stopped but I think I'm still learning something else I've been working on for some time and I hope that it's true 'cause, truth be told, I am time - that's right, I'm tired and I've been tired, I know, most my life but I'm just sick of it and so, in the middle of all the work and all the learning et al I've got to stay atop of I'm winging to the other coast the long ago left coast on the other side from here and I'm going for mere days but it's aging me years to think on it but I'm happy - happy to going - whatever it means and I'm going to walk (a lot) and talk some and run some and dance a little and maybe still break into my old apartment building - yes, with a friend - just do it again and scream from the roof like I used ta whenever I'd made a decision or decided something and, oh yes, I've decided now that I'm going to have a fun time - oh yes. oh yes.

I'll see you again. Dave, Rebekah, I'll see you soon. Mike, Lauren, get on it.

xo

2007-07-11T10:05:00.000-05:00

Have you checked it out yet?
Check it out.
Business Time is pretty dang good.
.

2007-07-04T00:11:00.000-05:00

It comes down to numbers and what the 15 sec. spot on teevee tells us what we're supposed to hear. Pres says he'll take the matter of the identity of the person behind the leak of Plame seriously but doesn't really look into and immediately decides that, no, the court got it wrong, a slap on the wrist (list to the Right say now, "NO, that's a huge amount of money!") is perfectly sufficient for being involved in leaking the name of a CIA agent and then lying to the court about it to cover others up - others I'm supposed to be pursuing. Well, that that's all there is to it; of course it's appropriate, like Scof and his "solutions" to the climate change phenomenon, "I don't know enough to argue that doing little to nothing is wrong so who am I to blow against the media winds?"

How's that shovel workin' out, by the way?

2007-06-23T02:03:00.000-05:00

#3 ...really eager to see if he's got another one with constructive feedback worked in - most of the commenters are only encouraging or idiots but we'll see.
Anyway, this one has EXPLOSIONS! :O)

and - bonus: Bush robbed (watch at :50 to see his watch and the hands working through to 1:04 to see the watch is gone)

enjoy.

2007-06-19T21:00:00.000-05:00

Breakin' it down a bit more (sans annoying flame wars, etc.)

^Patching Holes #1^

^Patching Holes #2^

I'm a fan so far.

2007-06-15T03:27:00.001-05:00

The Most Inconvenient...

...this is a good start. He's put out one video dealing with some holes and another yesterday on others. The doubters don't come across even half as prepared or invested...
I'll post other videos over the weekend while I work on trip report.
cheers

2007-06-08T10:07:00.001-05:00

and now for something completely different

It isn't much - and it is very long - but I wrote a review on my car at epinions in hopes it'll help others and so others might share their tales of woe (if any) about theirs with me. (I wrote it from work so expect silly errors like you've come to expect here and in my comments.)

Here it is: http://www.epinions.com/content_372955254404

More on the trip and other developments soon. I promise.
'til then, I'm sorry I've been out of touch.
.

2007-05-24T02:10:00.001-05:00

The Civil War in about 4 minutes. (Best watched at full screen)

Gonzalez should resign already. He's not doin' us much good anyway. Shame.

Coachella Porn

and, finally, I used to live for this stuff:

Buffalo vs. Lion vs. Gator

Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Tomorrow I've got another full day at work in a week, a month, a year that's proving to be quite exhausting if not all bad.
Friday I drive* to the Grand Canyon for 8-9 days and I have No Idea what I'm going to do... but I'm taking a bike, a sleeping bag and a backpack anyway; just in case. Although, I suspect I may just read, walk and take lots of naps.

I'll try and let you know.
(*I recently bought a new car and never mentioned it. I'm liking it; every way I break it down I like it more than my other choices. I just hope the made-for-other-cars bike rack I've situated on it holds alright.)

Take care everyone.
~

2007-05-17T01:24:00.000-05:00

link o' plenty

This is an FHM magazine I'd get a kick out of having around the house. -Click on the video link for the hilarious background story.

FromKeetra: Creative ideas and such. I'm a fan of the blood puddle pillow and photobooth ideas.

Representations of statistics that evoke that oceanic feeling with a twinge of shame. (thanks Mike)

.

2007-05-15T10:15:00.000-05:00

Hurrah Product or Technology?

I ran across the following review while searching for a digital recorder for the office:

A solution to several problems , April 6, 2007
Reviewer: G. Ware Cornell Jr. "another lawyer" (Weston FL United States)

I had a friend once who agreed to wear a wire for the FBI in a waterfront corruption case. They duct-taped a mini-cassette recorder onto the small of his back and sent him into a meeting. The problem was that the meeting was delayed and once it started he was terrified the cassette would run out and the recorder would "click" and some guns would be pointed at him, making their own clicking noises.

I sincerely hope the FBI is using this little digital voice recorder now days. It wold be a lot more comfortable taped to the small of your back and it is absolutely silent. If it has any flaws they are that you have to pay close attention to the counter to see that it is actually recording. Also to pause you need to hit "record" rather than "stop." This is hardly a big deal, compared with the benefit of dictating or recording on the road and emailing your material to a typist back at the office.

My friend told me he lost ten pounds waiting for that fatal sound from under his shirt and jacket. With this machine, weight loss is not an option.

***
The wire isn't a live feed?

2007-04-27T09:40:00.000-05:00

You Gotta Get Yourself Some!

Mahble Cawlums (can't figure out how to embed the video)

More Link Purge:
Manatees: More Evolved Than Our President

...now I've got to rush to work.
-actually, I can't resist another link: Really?! with Seth and Amy re: Gonzalez

2007-04-20T16:39:00.000-05:00

Defending Alberto Gonzalez

“I have learned important lessons from this experience,” he said. “I believe that Americans focus less on whether someone makes a mistake than on what he or she does to set things right.”

One can understand, given his history of supporting President Bush and the president’s whims and more outrages desires for an escape from culpability or rebuke for him or any of his staff, that this statement would seem totally appropriate for this Attorney General Gonzalez – if for no other reason than the man has simply not been, while serving this President, under the influence of someone who commits energy on correcting mistakes. …or even acknowledging them. How could he have known before all of this that anyone would have expected him to do anything about doing a slipshod job and marring the integrity of system of justice and accountability? I’m sure he rather expected to receive his own Medal of Freedom.

Four legal experts step into a senator’s shoes and list three questions they would ask Mr. Gonzales. Especially pointed are the questions from David Iglesias.

This is also interesting from a pair of Harvard Professors; especially on point is the last question of this short article.

Lastly: what a picture. The Pres has full confidence in "Mr. I don't recall". Also, how is it there isn't a note of a meeting even had occurred or a note that some other crap didn't get done that day due to impromptu meetings here and there? What the hell?

2007-04-01T15:07:00.000-05:00

Introducing Google Paper

...and that's all for now.

2007-03-29T23:55:00.000-05:00

Advances: in Technology

33 minutes

11:54 AM V: still working?

i need to ask you a question

can you come back to the computer please?

ok, fine, i'll call you

11:55 AM i'm calling...

should i call your cell or office

i'll try office first

or maybe cell

office

now i have no service

please come to the computer!

seriously!

11:56 AM come on!

5 minutes

12:01 PM V: where are you!????!

i know you hate multiple question marks and exclamation points and 'i' in lower case.

12:02 PM maybe that'll get you back

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii wanna know, where are you????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ugh

2007-03-25T00:40:00.000-05:00

Yeah Futhamuckas - I'm messin' around.

2007-03-24T23:41:00.000-05:00

Testing.

...depending on how this goes you may just see daily photos for a while.

-and they may not be much better than this. But, again, we'll see.

HowardSings

2007-03-24T05:06:00.001-05:00

HowardSings
Originally uploaded by AlbertOMG.

2007-03-24T04:47:00.000-05:00

memory - birthday

That is all - for now. ...but it was really, really great times back then. I will keep the framed receipt and wall paper and memories...

2007-03-12T20:41:00.001-05:00

To Rebekah:

There's gotta be a way to make that dream a reality in Austin,: to fill your nights with those things that you love and to steal moments throughout the day to do little things.
...to scrawl favorite prose on small pieces of paper and post them to your cubicle walls or hum a little tune - even loudly, to yourself (what's the worst that could happen?) - or, how about starting a ...uh, I forget what it's called but a group poem or story where you write two or three lines and fold the page over before passing it to your neighbor. The idea is that the person to receive the page only has one line of writing to inspire their two or three lines.

That continues all the way around until it makes it back to you. It may not make it back to you the first several times; it could get stuck at some pooper's desk or get intercepted but that'll be okay 'cause you'll have written nothing more than something like, "Write one down, pass it around" (or, Write down three then set it free") or something as simple as that. If it does make it back to you though, you could post it to your cubicle wall and look upon it when you're down.

...if you're lucky, you may even get one passed to you that someone else has started; wouldn't that be cool?

2007-03-06T22:51:00.000-06:00

Today

I received an email and I got lost in the response and the follow up and the memory
so I got up from my chair and I went to the lounge to have some pumpkin pie and whipped cream from a can but the news was on in the teevee in the lounge and a I got hit hard by a story
about a father in a court room glaring at the man who stole his young daughter from her bedroom in the night and did unspeakable things,
unrepeatable things
to her before he buried her alive where she remained until she died. And the news repeated, graphically, each single thing he did and the man never did look up from his colored pencil doodlings but sat beside his lawyers who will work to free him on technicalities or declare him unfit for trial and
though these things are necessary it made me feel sad and very, very small. weak.

It humbled me.

Today has conspired against me and I didn’t see it coming. …but it ties in to the follow up to a post this morning that has to do with others who will be looking to get off on technicalities and though I’m sure these things are necessary, it makes me sad to consider it and to know so many condone it.

2007-02-14T15:51:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone. Everything is good,
Love is Everywhere.

...or, at least I really like you.

2007-02-12T02:27:00.000-06:00

got nuthin'

But I didn't want to let too much time go by...

Okay, something. I need your help. I've been complaining about my bed for months and it's really starting to cause me pain to my shoulders and lower back. I bought this thick, high-quality futon mattress about... 4 years ago but never expected to keep it more than several months. I thought I'd donate it to someone when I finally purchased a real mattress. Well, it served me so well I didn't rush the purchase and then I had it so long I forgot that I could just purchase one so - help me out, what do I do, where do I go for a low-priced mattress that'll last me at least a couple of years?

I went to Ikea today to see about what they've got (after searching overstock.com and finding mattresses at $1,200 and up) but, of course, the one that I thought would work well for me is one that I can't afford. I just can't spend $1,000 on a mattress.

It may seem ridiculous (and so tell me if it is) but I'm hoping to find a very good, firm, queen-size mattress for about $400. I know, I know, but if you know of anything, please share.

*Also, I'm not looking to replace my bed, my bed is great; I just need the mattress.

2007-02-06T19:26:00.000-06:00

House to Debate Measure Opposing Bush’s Iraq Plan

Those who have been paying attention to my demonstrations of dyslexia now and again will not be surprised to learn that I first read the headline above as "House to Masturbate Opposing Bush's..."

and then, on the double-take, I read the same thing again and thought, simply, that the press was becoming more bold after all.
.

2007-02-06T11:33:00.000-06:00

Taking From Auntie Em to Pay Lockheed Martin

President's budget plan would dramatically increase military spending and squeeze federal health care programs and most domestic agencies to achieve his goal of eliminating the deficit by 2012.

1. He knows it won't pass.
2. He is, essentially, proposing that we continue to keep troops, young men and women, abroad and fighting (many still kept there only by extentions to their tours) while taking the money for health care from their extended families here at home; not only will we keep the kids away, we'll make it harder for their extended families to find help on their own. Since we know that it is the poor who go to war, this is not a leap.
(*of course, this "defense" budget does not include the requested supplemental war funding.)

I post these too often, I know, but zefrank just touches something in me.

This from Jan. 26:
Speaking at the Oval Office today (1/26/07), President Bush congratulated General Patrias in explaining that the plan will move forward because he is the decision maker saying, quote, "I have picked the plan that I think is most likely to succeed."

Once again, he chastised critics saying "some are condemning a plan before it's even had a chance to work." By then, of course, you're not really condemning a plan anymore; you're condemning a reality.

No, the correct time to condemn a plan is when it's being made; that's what planning is.

This plan, however, is past planning and is becoming a reality. And as with any reality that involves bullets and people dying, I very much hope that it will work.

The problem is your track record in choosing plans that are likely to succeed blows chunks out of a monkey's butt. And I'm not counting the 8 billion chunks that were just requested for Afghanistan.

You've paid me with lottery tickets before and yes, I'll admit, each time I thought maybe, just maybe, we'll cash in.

Despite the odds, despite the evidence, I secretly hoped you had some hyper-intelligent alien stashed in the back room somewhere. I hoped that that was what the secrecy was all about: that you had an in, that the lottery was rigged. That's why the bit about global warming in the State of the Union Address scared the crap out of me.

I looked down at that lottery ticket with the words "Don't Worry" printed on it and had to rip it up. Yeah, I held onto it; just like the other times I secretly hoped that you had something up your sleeve, like maybe the aliens were just having a barbecue.

As for the current plan in Iraq, President Bush has said that it's going to get worse before it gets better. Getting worse is part of the plan, and it appears that the plan will not have been given a chance to work until it gets better.

Once again it's a long shot, bad odds, and both sides of the aisle know it. Non-binding resolutions from the left, and non-binding benchmarks from the right.

In any case, we will give it a chance. We care too much about troops on the ground not to. I sincerely hope that it does work, and I hope that Muqtada al-Sadr's recent vow to cooperate is a step in the right direction. But I also hope this is the last lottery ticket that the President is allowed to buy.

This is Ze Frank, thinking for me.

2007-02-05T01:46:00.000-06:00

Snippets From a Document Titled, "Snippets"

The conversation jumps like balls in a pop-mower. Every now and then she makes confessions via clarifications, "Now, I'm dating three people - all girls - at the same time right now. Not boys! It's driving my crazy! I like boys because they're direct, 'what do you want, I want it too, okay we're done, okay - goodbye' without all the f*King drama and second-guessing that girls have to inject into everything."

...on her street-level balcony with a joint rolled with thin paper like onion skin printed with small black text.

"Where'd you get these papers? What do they say?"

"Oh, They're pages out of the Bible."

         It cannot open into the orange.

                                                                            The orange is it.

                                                                            The orange is open.

                                                                            The orange cannot orange.

the sun cannot plunge down fast enough if one was to ask it, even as

exhausted as it gets.

*

I won't even

mention your part in

the conspiracy

with my father

to fuck-up my hair.

2007-02-02T04:10:00.000-06:00

So, like I worked out with my dad and I was feeling really good 'cause it was like my first day back at it and all and I was feeling kinda funny though and my back was feeling really weird just from stretching after my warm up and so I pushed on anyway and I ran and stepped and lifted and pushed and now my back doesn't feel good at all.

but then I felt really great, too, 'cause of all the good workin'-out chemicals flooding my brain and a friend from Dallas called and said he wuz goin' to Spaceland so I had a MONSTER power drink or whatever that type of thing is called and it really got me wired so I went to the show after getting lost and met up with him and had two beers and chatted and took really funny pictures and then I came back and joined my roommate in watching the closing credits for the Zizzou movie with Bill Murry and I remembered that I really, really like David Bowie and then I crashed.
I'm zonked out. I'm flushed. kaput. finito.

...but I wanted to let you all know it first.
-oh, and this zefrank of a particular news story is pretty great, even in its simplicity.
.

2007-01-25T10:07:00.000-06:00

open letter

...and to give Matt his comments and reframe (for now) the discussion*:

This is the first time in over a year that I've been able to check through blogs in the morning and there's way too much here to sift through now but, really, you're looking for argument and not specific data back. That is, just like you and I could make a chart make loss look like growth, we can just as well search the internet like you've done for a line or a quote that indicates support for what we're saying. You easiest of all because you're only looking for what you'd call "reasonable doubt".

For me, to you, the unanswered questions remain - and I think they're more to the point of all this:
* If there is a chance - A Good Chance, Even Likely Chance - that all this change is Accelerated by man if not all out Caused by man, why prolong the argument that it might not be?
* Is there any report you can find that our activities linked to this proposed Global Warming bit are Good for the planet and Mankind?
* If Christians are not just to "fill the earth and subdue it (and) Rule over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground" but also to protect them, which argument encourages this... ?
* And, again, leaving the Global argument and working our way down, do you believe that nothing need be done to clean air and water for children who, if nothing is done and industry is not encouraged to act, will only face more direct pollution from the Very Same sources identified in the Global Warming warnings?
* Do you, who argues against Universal Healthcare, due, at least in part, to your support for Innovation, really need to resist so vigorisly any notion that would, in fact, spur man on to new, perhaps radically new, innovation even within your lifetime? Esp. if the results could have a direct positive impact on or directly benefit your children? (Again, I don't seperate Global Warming elements from their local-level roots.) (Also, for the argument of jobs and the working men and women who depend on yadda yadda - could innovation not mean more - but different - work even if it included new demands?)
* Lastly, in response to Mike's comment about the tabacco industry's argument that the science behind smoking and cancer was unsettled (and they still claim this): do you think industry (and the politicians you've already said your self who are often in bed with industry or some sp. interest), on its own, will act before many, many people have died or our way of life is Undeniably (science or not) comprimised? If my product causes you harm but I can argue it doesn't, my priority is to argue that as vigorisly as I can for as long as I can get away with; then, when I can argue no more, I'll try and still get away with but on a smaller scale while using all the privilaged info. I have to "help" my past and future victims and my profits, I tell you, will continue to rise.
Whose side do you want to hold the dice for... these are my questions to you and no scientist or politician can help or get in the way of your answers.

...and now I'm running late. damn!

(*see this Vitriolic Spree post and comments or this Irreverent Probity post for background.)

2007-01-24T11:35:00.000-06:00

Not Up To Snuff

I'm not well today and so will be staying away from comments everywhere and anywhere.

However, Mike at Vitriolic Spree has posted a very worthy read today: Check it out.

.

2007-01-23T14:39:00.000-06:00

Proper Motivation

me: You should try jogging in place with high knees to target your tummy issues. In fact, I'm going to do them while watching tonight's State of the Union.
M: why are you going to do that to yourself? i will not be watching the state of the union
me: No, no, it'll be encouragement to work out harder!
M: no sir
me: 1, I'll want my breathing to be heavy enough to drown out his voice and, 2, I'll keep the jogging up longer if I imagine I'm running 'cross country to beat his ass
- endurance and intensity with one motivator and in my very first attempt back at exercising!
.

2007-01-22T11:11:00.000-06:00

I Wish I Could Post The Picture

But posting from work means I've got no editor to help me and I can't remember right now, in my hurry, how to do it.

Matt at Irreverent Probity has recently posted several times under the headline, "Reasons to Move to L.A." followed by articles that depict a city full of degenerit neanderthals subsisting on 40oz kegs of booze and the porn slipped in between frames of new releases from Disney*. (*I may have just made that all up.)

Well, my first article doesn't help to change this notion as it 1. announces that we now also house Dictators* (!), too and 2. demonstrates how no other news outlet in the city, county is taking charge to keep the public informed.
(*Technically, he's a Dictator-to-be, but for all the looting and general worthlessness of his being, I'm jumping the gun.)

I can't post the picture of this Dictator posing with Condi but here's a link.
Shoot down to the end of the article for the accompanying bit on/from Condi that makes the picture all the sweeter.

Now, here's the article:
Malibu : A dictator in training buys his way in, as politically active superstars stay mum

However, this editorial does return a bit of shine to our share of the shoreline:
Those Ingrate Iraqis "President Bush is right", it begins.

Enjoy.

2007-01-19T11:04:00.000-06:00

Trying not to do this in comments today

First, just about the quote that's floated around the past couple of days: Bush believes his new (old, same) plan for Iraq will work. ...well, it's good to know that he's sure about it this time. Really, really, really sure about it this time 'cause he's been pretty iffy before and we've just gone along with the guy, despite his being unsure in the past just 'cause we like the cut of his jib. But now he really believes it'll work so I say All In. In fact, I'm heartened to know that America is so convinced by his new, strong belief in this new (old, same, moldy) plan for Iraq that 800,000 Privileged Youths Enlisted to Fight In Iraq

Now, I haven't seen the final ethics bill yet - but heard some things that caught my attention: congressmembers, once leaving congress, now have to wait two years instead of just one year before taking a job as a lobbyist.

...why not 4 years? Why not six? How is 2 years being tough? I mean, if I'm smart I just call my position something other than lobbyist, say, "consultant" for a couple years and then go right back to business as usual. And I'm still curious to see about what kind of transparency we're going to get. I heard it's going to be "tougher" to hide things but what about illegal all together to hide any and all gifts and favors received? What about having a low-level staffer post each item or favor on the congressman's website when they arrive? How about once a week? Twice a month?

And lastly, (and again, before reading up on the bill) I do believe that all of these people should have to follow the same set of rules anyone who works for an organization who's having a contest or raffle must follow:
Congressmembers and/or any persons working on the Hill, and anyone working directly on the Bill and its respective affiliates, parent companies, subsidiaries, suppliers, promotion, advertising and promotional agencies, and the immediate family members and persons living in the households of each congressmember and/or any persons working on the Hill are not eligible to enter or receive all of or any part of direct rewards from the Bill such as stocks, money, land, position, or any such reward not available to the majority of the target population as a matter of consequence from the passage of the Bill. Any member of Congress and/or other persons working on the Hill who violate this rule will be immediately and summararily dismissed from service and will surrender any claim to post or privilage for a period no less than five (5) years following dismissal.

...but that's just off the top of my head.

2007-01-17T11:49:00.000-06:00

Isn't How I Thought I'd Come Back

...but when the motivation rises:
This woman, this one woman here... she dresses like the ghost of her youth won't give up the ghost and either has a conterfeit grin on her face from insincere compliments on her appearance or else walks around with a cara de culo and an evil eye for everyone.

My day was off to a brilliant start before I caught that eye. I played a little prank on our IT guy of nothing more than moving my old birthday balloons to his (near-empty) desk in the corner of the billing department (he's moving to the new building).

This woman's desk is near (but not facing) his and, as I tied a big mylar balloon to his monitor, she just seethed at me. I laughed it off, saying, "M*%!#*'s not impressed." but she just faced me more, seething all the more. I muttered, at the door and just before it closed, "Ai, que te calmas." Which is like, "Calm down" but, with the "ai" takes on a condescending tone. I'm sure I'm going to have all of the billing department - these women who have always got mounds of cookies and sweets located in the center of their office, at the edge of their collective protuberances; these women that have exclusive pot luck lunches of their own when they whisper to themselves at the farthest edge of the lounge, hovering over enough food for 3 times as many of them but which they only grudgingly share once they've finished - I'll have them all glowering at me now for weeks... all after I'd actually won one over and seemed to be doing better with another.

...if it wasn't for this very special birthday song composed by one of the best bands in the world and for mememe, I might be pinned beneath the weight of this hatred.
Alberto pleease doon't diiiiiie! ah, sweet, sweet music.

more later.

2006-11-20T21:11:00.000-06:00

Momma Never Loved Me

While we're joking around, I just had to post this as it made me laugh through my aching, congested head when I found it via MightyGirl:

...I don't even have the words.
.
(NotFunny
Not Funny, either)
.

2006-11-18T02:48:00.000-06:00

a little late

but I made these jokes up while chatting with a friend and meant to share them with both of you readers:

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi Who?
Nancy Pelosi In Da House!

or, alternate telling:

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Nancy Pelosi.
Nancy Pelosi Who?
Exactly.
.

2006-11-17T11:33:00.000-06:00

Making Me Blush

A week into a Dem. control, the Senate votes overwhelmingly to ship nuclear fuel and technology to India while allowing 8 plants to be designated outside realm of inspectors and frees up their uranium resources for military use. (story)

Joseph Biden had this to say: "This is a single case... India unlike Pakistan and Iran has been responsible and this won't have any impact on those contries." In an answer to critics, incoming Intellgence Committee Chair, Dem. Jay Rockefeller said: "I want this relationship, I don't think the Indians are gonna mess up on this."
Super, Jay. Thanks.
.
PS: T.G.I.F.
.

2006-11-16T10:14:00.000-06:00

Music to My Ears Somehow

Steve Inskeep of NPR just announced that the Los Angeles Dodgers are fixing to move from their long-time spring-training camp.
.

...and sour notes
A young, lithe swede woman hums a tune I recognize as being a favorite. After a moment, as the commercial continues with images of the sea and a white billowing sail stark against a blue sky, I realize that the tune is Billie Holiday's, "Summertime". I don't know that I'm disappointed that Billie isn't the one singing, that I can't hear her or upset that its an ad for a new perfume by Estee Lauder - or just irked 'cause I'm also invariably reminded of that damn Sublime cover that assaulted me for well over a year on radio and assaults me still at times from passing cars and first-floor windows.
.

2006-11-15T22:28:00.000-06:00

...now that it's evident that drinking an entire bottle of anything to honor anyone is a foolish, foolish idea, I'm going to suggest that, instead, you make your friends an entertaining Line Rider game.

Have fun.
.

2006-11-15T02:00:00.000-06:00

tonight I spoke with a friend

and what is that to me, "friend"? I still am not so convinced I understand the significance of that word, that notion, though I want to believe that undesterdant, feel - have felt - the weight of it.

I spoke to him to feel, of course, inadequate.

I drank a bottle of wine - for him. Because he cannot - should not.

and, pitiful, but I read Ginsburg's Kaddish aloud for him - not fitting but the mind, my mind, my intention, I hope, makes it right.

...and, of course, on the thinking of what I might write for him - were I to write - is all lost in the act of Thinking what I might write for him - were I to write at all.

These things, these moments of life that come for you to claim: who is it that is ready to claim them? Do the prepared write of these moments in their autobiographies or do they write them themseleves - and when do they? - for the benefit of whom?
.

2006-11-14T10:18:00.000-06:00

Lasse Gjertsen

This norwegian with a fair amount of time on his hands, does a little beatboxing and, next, puts together a little ditty on drums and piano - without learning to play but, obviously, having an ear - and eye - for this kinda thing.

Bonus
He had this linked to his profile - it's an ad of sorts but worth considering: Evolution.
aaand, another short staring just him and his shadow*.
(*No music but a violent ending. Be warned.)
.

2006-11-10T16:47:00.000-06:00

Links For Commentary

My Way Today, My Way Forever!

...or, well, maybe not (Nov. 9).

Pet Sounds celebrates 40th (15 episodes)

Mash-ups with the people we have grown to love (not really):
My Generation (Bush and Hilary)
Happy Xmas (Got a Whole Lotta Love)
and, Farewell to Rummy, The Lights Are Dim
(Bonus: Video Farewell Montage of the lovable face)

David Byrne writes this after voting

.

2006-11-07T02:31:00.000-06:00

I gotta post something, right?

I mean, it's 12:30 am now and I haven't been sleeping well at all but I'm awake now partly because I've been writing and part of that writing was for something to post here... and it's not that anyone would be interested in my thoughts on Daniel Ortega regaining power in Nicaragua and how, though I'd like to be happy about it - be happy about anything but the selling off of her land to hotels from Germany - but I just can't bring myself to be thrilled. I tried to talk about his assistance to and eventual partnership with crooked, U.S. puppet, convicted criminal former-President AI mean, it's 12:30 am now and I haven't been sleeping well at all but I'm awake now partly because I've been writing and part of that writing was for something to post here... and it's not that anyone would be interested in my thoughts on Daniel Ortega regaining power in Nicaragua and how, though I'd like to be happy about it - be happy about anything but the selling off of her land to hotels from Germany - but I just can't bring myself to be thrilled. I tried to talk about his assistance to and eventual partnership with crooked, U.S. puppet, convicted criminal former-President A$&hole Aleman and they're tag-team take down of the powers of the President when he took on corruption in the government but it's 12:30am and I'm really very tired and I've got a knot the size of Wisconsin in my neck at the left side of the base of my skull and I just can't get it all out.
amp;hole Aleman and they're tag-team take down of the powers of the President when he took on corruption in the government but it's 12:30am and I'm really very tired and I've got a knot the size of Wisconsin in my neck at the left side of the base of my skull and I just can't get it all out.

I mean, I was going to say a little bit about this threat, again, that the U.S. is going to possibly cut aid to Nicaragua if Ortega wins and about how The World Is Sick of this U.S. Game. There are some (many) in this country who believe we can keep acting the part of the Kid Who Owns All The Toys but I tell you, and it's not a joke, the Kid is gonna get spanked. It's already happening and you can say you're fighting it on "the appropriate" fronts in campaigns that are sure to be successful but if the Kid won't grow up and play fair in those areas of maturity he is still having problems (not to say he isn't a nice boy, otherwise) then he will get spanked again and again and it's not always the neighboring kids fault. I mean, I'm just saying. You wanna throw your Monroe Doctrine around when it suits you then don't be a bigger jerk and tighten the screws on the 80% of the population who live on $2 a day you could instead continue to help (and invite Venezuela, Cuba, ...or China to take over for you). Roosevelt liked Somoza 'cause he stroked the U.S. company men. Now we mean to suggest that we may hurt the people of Nicaragua some more as if we didn't do enough last time Ortega was the scene. It's ridiculous and it's dangerous.

But then there's the odd thing, who's Ortega trying to make rich when he works with Aleman to shut down the fight against corruption in the Nica govt.? Surely, with talk of revisiting the plans for a new canal and recent attention on Nicaragua as a tourist location and retirement alternative for the West, Ortega, a self-proclaimed new moderate, will play along with the U.S. and her interests. For all that Ortega may do - and I don't know yet that I trust him so much anymore - there will be the temptation to make something good of his name again and shine some glory on his renewed power and the people of the country.

Anyway, you see, I'm tired and I just wanted to post something. I'm going on too long with finger tapping too fast for me to really have enough of control of what comes out.
Now, without going into it, I want you all to do a little something(s) for me: Say a little prayer, do a little dance, smoke a little pot, whatever it is you do, and do it for my dear friend James. Let's say that you ask for (offer) Peace, Acceptance and Courage for him and that you do this as a favor to me, yeah? Thanks, I knew I could count on you.

NOW GO OUT THERE AND VOTE!
.

2006-11-02T02:54:00.000-06:00

I can't sleep again. this happens from time to time. I say I'm going to sleep. I promise others. I promise myself. I bet the farm; I throw in the towel; I kiss the lips of dream or somesuch nonsense and I walk toward the bed.

and I pick up a pen.

and I return the pen to the desk.

and I sit here for a while.

and I try not to remember, not to forget, not to dwell, not to dismiss - to create - something.

I've got friends on my mind this evening. I've had a friend on my mind all day, since the phone call.

I think my fingers are beginning to line up. ...to show more lines on them.
Surely there's something I can do.
Damn the weather vein, damn the banana peel. Damn the bowling ball and the electric hair- dryer. Damn the price-hike and the distance which sound must travel to be heard. Damn the well-meaning. Damn all intention.
.

2006-10-25T15:23:00.000-05:00

Bah! I can post from work now using anonymous web proxy thingee but blogger doesn't work the same way unless I hit it directly. I'll have to try this again from home. For now, see if you can't make your way through the entirely-too-long entry below.

Or, you can do what I do and surrender yourself to the tin-can, empty suitcase, nails-on-a-chalkboard sounds of Nelly Furtado's "Maneater" like I'm doing.

...over and over and over again. I don't know if I actually really like the song after all or if it's just 'cause I think she's so good lookin'.

2006-10-24T17:35:00.000-05:00

I keep saying to myself, "I'll get back to work right now" as I browse over to another distraction. - Like this terrific article on Garry Trudeau: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/20/AR2006102000446.html)

(*I was just going to post this into the comments of another site but, well, for obvious reasons I thought it’d be better to move to here.)

Just Do It: Just Don’t Do It

A friend decided to quit smoking and finds herself less than inspired to do so. A friend and I weigh in on how I quit smoking to which she responds with whether or not either one of us became irritable. Here’s where I avoid the question.

Okay, so, this. I don't know that I ever felt addicted to nicotine so that's really significant. I thought I had a nicotine fit once but I never had to really ever have a cigarette to get through a day. I'm sure there were occassions but after about a decade of smoking, they don't really come to mind so that's different than most people.

The thing that got me most about quitting was the very idea of quitting itself: the idea that I was going to deny myself something for the rest of my life. The finality of it bothered (bothers) me. I think I was drawn to smoke as much as I did in Chicago (after Mike bullied me into buying a pack) was because I wanted to be able to smoke with a friend with whom that was one way we used to pass the time. ...even if he wasn't smoking. It was silly and I didn't enjoy, I think, not one cigarette. It's the stubborn thing that you realize has all to do with how much smoking becomes more than something you do and becomes something you Are. Again, you're a smoker. Quitting just means you're a smoker who doesn't have cigarettes and that's fucking annoying. The smoker will say in short order, "fuck this!".

For me to tell myself I was a non-smoker I didn't have to have, nor could I consider, a cigarette. If I was having a withdrawal a cigarette just wasn't an option for coping - that's something smokers do. Right before I quit I was having a cigarette every day after work on my porch before doing anything else at home. Sometimes I'd have two. That's such a little thing, right: a smoke after work? I told myself for days that "this will be my last cigarette" and I tried to be romantic about it. After I decided I wasn't a smoker any more, I'd walk straight into the house, fix myself a snack, glance at the pack of cigs on the window sill, get a BIG glass of water and go out to the porch with the New Yorker. That's right, I never got rid of the cigarettes in the house; that wasn't supposed to be necessary. The snack could be as simple as a banana - eating wasn't going to replace nicotine - but I was going to force myself to maintain my sitting-on-the-porch time rather than give it up as just another quitting sacrifice. I found myself sitting there longer, reading more or turning on NPR inside the house to just sit, listen and stare at the cat circle the yard.

Mike kinda did the same thing if better tailored for him: because he was a heavier smoker I don't think my way would work the same for him. He decided that he was no longer a person who bought cigarettes. If you're a more-than-pack-a-day smoker and decide you're not buying anymore cigs you've effectively quit smoking. I mean, you just can't bum that many cigarettes for more than, maybe a day, without having to visit different towns every day where no one will recognize you. After you're down to the occasional cigarette that you're not embarrassed to bum, it's much, much easier to ask yourself, "do I really want this cigarette? Really?" -and admit to yourself, "No. I don't really want the cigarette anymore. I used to need the cigarette but I can't say that honestly do anymore. Aw, forget it."

I still may have an occasional cigarette with a friend for the same reason as before, "old times sake" or something. I may still have an urge for one after, say, a really big meal but I can honestly say that I just don't enjoy it and, trust me on this, if you decide to quit and hold out, you won't either. You really won't, inconcievable as that may be.

Now, something that may have helped both Mike and I is that the cities in which we reside have both banned smoking in public establishments. Also, I really wasn't going out as much when I quit so the temptation was very lessened. Without my smoking friends and the convenience of smoking allowed in bars, smoking really can lose it's ...vitality. It isn't something you do with your life anymore; you realize that it's something you have to keep stopping your life to do: leaving the house to smoke on the porch, having a smoke while friends go into a theater to buy the snacks, changing your shirt for the 3rd time because you have company coming over, having a smoke instead of joining others in the pool...

Anyway, that's how I look at it all now. I don't look back on my life of smoking as some big mistake; I still love the memories of sitting in a neighbor's apartment in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, everyone seated in a circle, hunched over, elbows on knees and cigarettes in hand all of us talking furiously over cheap white wine; staying up all night with my aunt and bottles of better wine, catching up; my first and only time lighting up in bed after a terrific session of, ehrm, studying, and how wonderful it really was; of time with friends in homes and bars in Texas, not even talking now, just smoking and drinking beer. The only thing I always knew that I didn't want to be was a smoking old man. I never saw an old person in real life that I thought looked cool having a cigarette. I always knew I'd quit altogether some day. Quitting now, well, it's just a matter of letting some day come.

Oh, and on being irritable – I should say that there are many other things in your life that people seem to commit to with more resolve (childbirth, child-rearing, medical operations, job interviews) and the good thing about enduring the symptoms of quitting is never having to fear facing the symptoms of not quitting.

…I mean, really, you honestly thing these substitute kissing a clean mouth?

2006-10-11T02:14:00.000-05:00

Get Through the Week Weds. Links:

Sufjan Stevens' Romulus How To Bind Your Own Book David Byrne on Sufjan Stevens

Pakistani Earthquake Survivors Face 2nd Winter in Makeshift Shelters

Bjork, Anchor Song - Live w/ choir Stephen Colbert has America by the Ballots

Put Something In by Shel Silverstein

...these may not help or interest you at all; I just want to get back to them easily. :o)
.

2006-10-10T13:28:00.000-05:00

Homogenic

I'm trying to post from work now using a site that hides my activity from work. ...or hides the website I'm accessing from work - or something. In any case, for the first time, I'm able to get to blogger from my desk. I don't know whether this will work when I try and publish. This is a test.

In any case, I'm listening to Homogenic and am reminded of New York; of specific moments in different seasons surrounding the release of Bjork's 3rd record. ...and so I'm also reminded of how music can do this thing: thrust you back, emotions and muscle, to places you've been whether or not you'd ever intended to return.

It's too much to get into now but I listened to this album several times a day almost every day for about all of the winter of 97. By spring I was taking it to photoshoots I was assisting on. I'd put it on if the photographer or director didn't already have something going and never once had anyone act bothered by it. Today I'm placed squarely back to one shoot in SoHo for a catalog using only two people. This was the girl's first shoot ever and the guy happened to be a friend of mine. It was a silly shoot but I remember what I feel is very detail of it. I remember the way the light was flooding into the room - how that, for a moment, was such a big deal as we tried to tone it done.

Okay - I've got to run now; no time for stories but this record has put me back on the 6-train with snow on my boots and into a studio pressing shirts for young models I always flirted with despite efforts not to... I'm walking toward Thompkins Sq. Park. I'm meeting a date at her place just off of Washington Sq. Park. I'm laying in bed - doing nothing - not feeling well - not knowing what will make me feel better - turning myself over to the cd again and again and, at Unravel, just that song then again and again.

.

2006-09-21T01:39:00.000-05:00

s-s-something from the comments

I know this is lame but I can't update my blog from work and I'm too tired (as I am now) to get it done from home. So, here's something I posted to my own comments earlier today:

*-Made My Morning-*

Where's Rob?*
(*looks longer than it is - and is more fun that you might think, esp. the videos)

Also, don't forget about zefrank.com/theshow - it's Happy week and isn't that nice?
.

2006-09-18T02:29:00.000-05:00

Banksy

I was in NYC when the Union Square Virgen Megastore construction began. I don't know that it was slated immediately to become what it was but it immediately was seen as an ugly monstrosity that was going to blot the sun from the park with architecture that resembled nothing else in the city nor added anything to the local aesthetic.

I talked about tagging it up when it was still just starting. One could tell what it was going to become right away and I wanted, simply, to tag, "No More Ugly Buildings". I wanted it in red and as tall as I am. I wanted to try and get all sides of it. I managed, instead, one small tag with a fat sharpee on the back of the building and left it at that. Later on I thought to myself that I could continue, could keep going back to repeat the message. I never went back and pretty much stopped talking like that soon thereafter.

This isn't to suggest that I might have been destined to do what Banksy does - I would not - but taking his show in this weekend reminded me that I decided once that, though I didn't have to leave the city to protest the attacks on living, humanity, that can occur there but that, while there, I didn't have to buy in to accept it either.

http://www.banksy.co.uk/menu.html
.

2006-09-06T21:48:00.000-05:00

In the News

NYC Unveils 9/11 Memorial Hole

Rumsfeld: Iraqis Now Capable Of Conducting War Without U.S. Assistance

...and a bit late but only to post - and probably new to you all anyway:

R.I.P. Steve Irwin. ...wasn't so bad, really. People are... unfortunately so... jerks. ...and bless wild, abstract connections*. (*Hit just near center for it relevant content. ...or, hell, just watch the whole thing. jerks.)

Vactioning - broken down to break your spirit. ...pulling for the New Spirit!

Okay, so, also, and to further avoid having to talk about everything that's wonderful and the little thing that was so, so, so scary and sad - you should really check out dooce.com. ...not only daily but go back a bit; scour the archive - really, it'll add years to your life and zest to your living.

...maybe.

.

PS: Germaine Greer is an idiot.

2006-08-28T01:45:00.000-05:00

I got nuthin'

I thought I'd have something tonight for you but looking back over my notes only reveals that ideas I had and things I wanted to share are quite old now.

For instance, I saw these phones last week and thought of an entire post about communication in the future and whether mobile phones, communication devices per se will even be a part of it. I can easily imagine people getting over and past this idea that we can be connected all the time for anywhere. Or, not that we break connection but that we need as much in one device as we're trying to get now. Once we've got fibers in our clothing that let us stay in touch with another person hands-free and private (say, an ear clip that delivers sound straight to your ear by vibrating instead with a speaker) the idea that we want a calendar and video player and organizer all with us all the time will only be associated with those poor souls tied to everything but living. The new marketing campaigns will show someone rock-climbing (Oh man, you gotta come with me next time, the view's incredible!) and a mother talking her son through a recipe while she prepares the same thing at her house. The connection will still be there but the emphasis of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g at your fingertips will fade while companies integrate the rest of what consumers/employees want with their workstations to encourage them to stay at their desks longer (the gadgetry) rather than try to forbid them to do anything but work as it does now (and as does not work).

Anyway, I guess I've gone into that a bit anyway. Two phone brought it up, first, this phone is said to have a secret compartment for "medicine" but something tells me that the person going for the mega-bling phone isn't going to be looking to hide any prescribed medicine. ...or, not medicine prescribed to him or her.

On the other hand, this is the phone I'd most like at my house today.
...and this phone's never going anywhere.

'til I'm back again, don't neglect ze frank - he seldom fails to disappoint*.
(*Friday's can be a little odd for first time viewers.)
.

2006-08-17T23:19:00.000-05:00

There's a reason men will never venture into woman's purse; it's scary in there. Nevermind the old stick of gum that has been heated so often over such a long period of time that it's actually oozed out of its wrapper and molded itself to the seam along the bottom of the purse. Nevermind the fact the receipts are jammed into the pocket sized perfectly for a cell phone while the cell phone rests below, snuggled up next to the gum wrapper. Nevermind the spare balled-up underwear or feminine-hygiene products or overstuffed wallet. The hair brush with its hundred antennae of hair acting like trip wires to snag would be invaders doesn't phase us.

No, it's the products. The arsenal of products that even the most modest of women carries in her purse mystifies us. ...but not in that sexy-mysterious way. Rather, the contents of the purse strike us - or would if we hazard to ponder it - as being not so different from the tools of a spy ...or assassin.

Think about it You've got tools in there that can turn your skin three different shades of color; make your eyes appear larger or tighter or other colors; products that could knock a man out if applied to the face with a heavily saturated cloth (say, those spare underwear) - you've got products with ingredients that cause your lips to swell as if stung by bees. You want to look like you're having a reaction to a bee-sting...

This entire foiled terrorist plot affair has merely given all women an excuse to show off their secret tools and scare the bejeezus out of men - to do an Ally Sheedy-in-The-Breakfast-Club purse dump. The fear-mongers are right; terrorists are out to undermine everything.
.

2006-08-11T09:52:00.000-05:00

It'll never get posted otherwise

One friend recently found herself in San Antonio after leaving Houston for Austin, a trip she's taken several times in only as many months. Needless to say, there is no logical explanation for this. Another friend mentioned that her sense of direction is about on par with her sense of ESP and I got to remembering an experience I had when I took a road trip through Europe with a German friend about 10 years ago. I'm not going to edit it 'cause I haven't had the time and won't ever update if I don't do this now. So, now, I give you the story to beat all stories (so far as I know in my own circle of friends:

My know-it-all-German friend, and I were to take the autobahn all night from Dresden to St. Peter-Ording to meet his girlfriend and her family at their beach house. I did the heavier part of the driving that day (from Prague) because we thought it'd be best for him to take the night shift for what was a considerable trek northwest. I mean, this was his country, his language, his autobahn and we didn't want me taking us astray.
When I woke in the passenger seat the next morning he was still driving and the sun was just rising. Framed in the windshield was a glorious picture of heavy clouds splitting open like the plunging neckline of an old cotton tee on Ms. Scarlett Johnansson. The sun was centered low land flirting at the split while stronger rays of light punched through the thick wall of cloud below. It was picture-perfect and we talked about how we both wished for a better camera, something that could catch this moment properly. (This isn't even close picture have the sun in there and the view directly in front of you with rays punching through at the bottom.)
It was a while into my trying to sketch the scene when something almost occurred to me. Not wanting to embarrass myself with my know-it-all German friend I sheepishly asked whether or not it was correct that the sun rose in the east and settled in the west. He confirmed that, yes, it did - same all over the world. I then, still unsure of myself, asked whether that sun before us then, so early in the morning, wasn't perhaps too spot-on center in your windshield when, in fact, we perhaps should have been heading at least somewhat enough west to put it beside us*.
He looked at me, we understood each other and immediately looked around us, instead of straight ahead, to identify that license plates had changed to white on black lettering and, when we finally passed a sign on the side of the highway, concluded that he had, in fact, driven is not west at toward the north beach but into somewhere entirely unrecognizable to me. He understood though; we'd gone north and east. He'd taken us, all night, north and, eventually, just inside of Poland.

Without speaking we scanned the horizon and confirmed that there was Nothing around but fields on the flat land all around us and then, immediately, we pulled our attention to the gas gauge to find, to our horror, that it read empty.

The story continues with us slowing down and mapping off-ramps with our eyes to confirm that, yes, they went nowhere but perhaps to an industrial plant spotted miles away. We continued to drive thinking something must come up. We pulled off one ramp only to find it only led to a small road that passed through 2 towns that seemed to contain, each, only one house and looped right back to the same point on the freeway we'd exited. We also found another small town (similar only to, say, a dorming community for a small college) with absolutely no activity save for one old woman crossing our path when we rolled in who disappeared once we'd passed her. We continued into the round center of the this town and noted one pump. Standing next to the pump was a life-size cardboard cut-out of a gas-station attended from the 50's dressed in his workman blues and wearing a large smile. A little blank square listed the hours of operation for this one pump - it was looking at it that informed us of much more complicated this side-trip was going to be: it was Sunday and nothing, not this pump, not anything else in any of this little towns, was going to be open this day.

...we, of course, make it out. We get on the freeway and roll up a little more to an exit that has a wider road connected to it. We drive up, pass a large gas station that's closed and come up on some Polish police parked in the middle of this large road (no other drivers are around ever - and only a few on the freeway this morning). My friend stops the car almost a quarter-mile away and walks over to their car to see if they speak German. He returns with the good news that, yes, the large station we passed opens at about Noon. We returned and tried to stay cool in what was building to be a day in the 90's. We breakfasted on stale chips and warm flat soda from two-liter bottles we'd tossed in the back seat earlier in the day, the week.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm going to be late for work. I hope this makes a couple of you feel better when you reflect on your own stories.

*This was how we should have gone. I can't even tell you where we actually ended up. I can tell you, however, that I've never seen a person so quietly upset with himself as I saw my German friend that morning. I took a picture and you can feel his anger, frustration, seething from and all about him.
.

2006-07-26T10:32:00.000-05:00

PLAYGROUND RHYMES
FOR THE REAL WORLD

Engine, Engine No. 9
Gets you to your job just fine.
Can't get off the PR track.
Ever dream you'd be a flack?

Y-E-S Man is your role,
And
You
Are
Not
Writing-that-novel.

Others at McSweeny's
.

2006-07-24T23:33:00.000-05:00

lists: I hate, yes, lists

photos, videos and story of sparrow (not jack) Ferdinand brought into the house and I placed outside to recover while I was sick
recaps of busy weekends
panic re: Israfghyianonanaq
review of Hollywood Bowl Flaming Lips concert

This and much, much more I won't be getting to because it's too damn hot, I'm too damn tired and I can't find any focus once I'm back from work.

(Maybe I'll sneak away from work one day and update in the afternoon; I've got lots of ideas during the afternoon!)

*I'll update again later, promise.

2006-07-12T00:54:00.000-05:00

If you leave a post about being sick long enough some may reply as such:

yeah I totally hate being sick too and going to the doctor GAG! it makes me more sick to go I think sometimes. lol. I think you are really fun and hope you don't stay sick long and get better soon 'cause you're funny or at least i think so.

If you really wanna get better you should haveteadrinkwaterscrewworkspraysaltywaterupyournose. I was sick with what it sounds like you have once and it didn't get better for almost 4 months; gosh, I hope that doesn't happen to you, too!

ooohhh, I'm sorry you're sick, that sucks! Being sick sucks! I hate being sick and I bet you hate it, too! So, do you like the new song by that band you say is your favorite? I don't really know if I like it yet but I'll give them a chance I guess. Man, it's hot over here where I am; get well soon!

If you insist on going to work while sick people may reply as such:

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You don't look that sick to me.
.

2006-07-11T10:15:00.001-05:00

oops!

I'm ill again and neglected to check on the post I'd started before. . . well, it's too late for that now.

Quickly: as much as I can enjoy Italy otherwise and have a love for Italians and support the team of match-fixers trying to prove themselves ... as much as all that is true I felt that, during this series, Italy got away with a bad call from one of the worst refs this whole World Cup during at the end of their match with Australia. They beat up on Mexico during their face-off and showed how ugly they can play.

During the final match against France they tired quickly and, again, benefited from bad - though not as many - calls. I will grant that both teams played a bit messy. I'll also acknowledged that Bufon was exceptional during play and what would have been a second goal, really, probably shouold have counted - it didn't look offsides to me either.

However, France, I feel, throughout had more style and class throughout the match and would have answered a second point. ...and Zidane, Mr. Cool, the mature leader and hero for much of Europe still - he didn't snap from presure of the match, no way. I can't believe no one's managed to blow up that video and discern what was said yet. The chatter online is that he may have insulted Zidane's wife of sister - which doesn't make sense unless it was really vile. Still, more talk suggests he may have gone as over-the-top as calling him "the son of a terrorist whore" or the like. We still don't know but, as offended as I was to see Zidane lose his cool, given Materazzi's history of being an a$$hole, I'm behind Zidane and challenge Materazzi to come out with it and own up to what he did really say.

...then again, my aunt's French-raised husband suggested, laughingly, that Zidane, a former Juventus player, was paid off. -not to suggest I'm prepared to buy that.

**